March 30th & 31st
First, let me proudly say that I have not eaten a single piece of Easter candy this weekend! I had 3 jelly beans Thursday but only because Grady was giving me puppy eyes and begging me to! And I logged them so I don't even feel bad about it! Anyway, Easter is my favorite holiday for a few reasons, the first is obvious, it is the day that saved my soul. The second reason is that my family makes really amazing food! Clearly I didn't account for that in my weight loss plans for the week. I massively messed up yesterday and ended the day with 2,450 calories. That's pretty terrible. Today I did much better and so far have stayed more than 100 below my 1,400. I've only lost .6 since my weigh in last week which is really depressing, but I'm just over 27lbs lost at this point and I'm thrilled about that. Mema (my mom's mom) bought me a shirt last year that I couldn't even get close to buttoning, last night I tried it on again and it was too big! :)
I can't believe march is over. Wow.
Happy Easter!
I'm just a girl who has battled obesity my entire life. I have always lived like a passenger in my own journey. I let things happen to me but I don't take complete control. I'm done with that. I am ready to kick butt and take back my life. 24 sounds like the perfect age to change my life... I have PCOS and Insulin Resistance, so weight loss is something I have always struggled with. This is my journey to a healthier me!
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
These Fears, they're ripping apart my soul
Once again I manage to run out of time to make an update. I really need to work on that. My life is seriously a mess right now and this weight loss goal is the only thing keeping me sane. It's the only thing I have to focus on that keeps my mind off of everything else. I can't stop thinking about Carter. He is truly my inspiration but every day my heart breaks over and over again. I HAVE to better my life because I have to be the mom that my son deserves. Every time I update this blog I feel like I am going to lose my mind. I am terrified of what people will think. I am terrified of seeing my flaws so vividly in print. I am terrified that someone will actually read this and see how insecure I really am. For so long I have been pretending and I am so scared to take off this mask. The truth is, I am a mess. I am a mess who tries really hard to pretend that I am confident and sure of myself, but I'm not. I am really just sick of pretending. This is who I really am. I am a twenty-three year old woman who hates her body. I am "the fat cheerleader." I am all the mean names people call an overweight person. I am a size 20 who would give anything to fit into a size 8. More than any of that, I am a girl who is determined to change all of those things.
In total, since I started tracking calories with MFP, I have gone over by 1,542 calories. NOT all in one day! Today I figured out that I have made up 1,537 of those with leftover calories. So, I only have 5 calories left to make up. That makes me happy. I know it doesn't make up for the days when I messed up, but it is still calories that aren't making their way into my body to be stored as fat. :)
March 28th 2013
Once again I slacked on exercise. I was 110 calories under though, so I am happy with that. Water drinking wasn't so hot today! I hate having a well because the water at our house is nasty, and I hate buying bottled water because of the impact on the environment, so water drinking is sometimes tough for me.
March 29th 2013
I may not have mentioned this before so I will mention it now. I HATE eating breakfast. I am not in the mood to cook that early in the morning. Healthy cereals are nasty, toaster strudels have INSANE amounts of calories, and I just can't stand to eat solid food before noon. So, I usually have some sort of liquid breakfast. Lately it has been slim fast more often than not just for simplicity when running back and forth to the hospital and doing other stuff. So this morning it was slim fast for breakfast. For lunch I had a grilled chicken sandwich from the hospital cafeteria (it was nasty!) I only ate half the bun and I didn't get any mayo. Just lettuce and pickles for toppings. I had sugar free pudding with it. For dinner I had a grilled chicken salad with fat-free italian dressing and half a cup of cottage cheese. I am not a big italian dressing fan but it has 80 calories less than lite ranch which gave me enough wiggle room to have a chewy granola bar! I did better on my water drinking today! A full 64 oz!
Tomorrow is the final update for this week but I measured tonight to update MFP so I figured I'd just update here too and I've lost a total of 2.5 inches in the 3 areas that are measured there. I will try to do the rest of my measurements tomorrow but here are the main 3.
-0.5 from neck
-1.0 from waist
-1.0 from hips
______________
2.5 inches down!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Struggles
I feel like if I didn't have so much going on, I would be doing great. When I get the chance to sit down with healthy foods, I make it through the day with calories left over and feeling just fine. Days like today, when I am not home, I have to eat whatever can be found and it doesn't work out as well. I still have over 200 calories left for today but I am starving...I also did awful on the water drinking today. I am pretty sure I only had two glasses of water. :( I am currently having a visit from my favorite auntie (sarcasm for the ladies lol) so I am really bloated. I decided to wait to measure until she leaves so that I can get accurate measurements. I have done SO terrible on the exercise front. One thing after another has happened and I just somehow forget, or have an excuse. I am really working on that. Wes and I are thinking about joining the new gym in town once we get our tax returns. We haven't fully decided yet, but we are thinking about it. When we were members at Anytime Fitness we did really well with exercise. We ended up moving and not being able to go there anymore, but this new gym is a 24 hour one and it is 10 minutes from home. So it is definitely an idea. I don't really have anything else to update on today.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Four Days Later...
My last update was on the 22nd. This past weekend was insanely busy and I just didn't find a free moment to get on the computer. Let's see....
Friday
Friday started out great. I was well within my calories for the day and I was feeling fine. I went with my friend, Lauron, to be fitted for my bridesmaid's dress for her wedding and I got to see her in her wedding dress. She looked absolutely beautiful. After the dress appointment we went to Olive Garden. I had a glass of wine because they were giving away free glasses while we waited. It was around 50 calories and it was delicious. Olive Garden was my first real will power test since I started dieting. I did better than I would have before but I am kind of disappointed in myself. I tried to have self control, I really truly did, but those bread sticks are way too yummy so I had 3....I had salad, and then chicken alfredo. I could have gotten something more healthy, but I didn't because I am kind of a picky eater. Anyway, the alfredo is over 1400 calories by itself and I only ate half of it. But I still went over my calories for the day. Then Wes wanted to stop at the truck stop after work and I chose the healthiest thing on the menu. I had chicken stir fry. It was pretty good but put me well over my calories. Brad called me and we talked for over an hour. He said that he is wanting to do a half marathon for a good cause, possibly Leukemia and Lymphoma which is REALLY dear to me since my little brother has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. So, my goal is to get through the 5K in July and then start training for a half marathon.
Saturday
I did REALLY good on Saturday with calories. I had close to 350 left over before exercise. I did 15 minutes of Zumba Exhilarate, it is a 60 minute dvd but I couldn't breathe after 12 minutes. After I stopped the dvd I grabbed Wes and got him to go out and do Day 1 of Couch to 5K with me. I only made it through 10 minutes of that one before gasping for air....Pathetic. At this rate I will never run a 5K, let alone that half marathon....
Sunday
I don't even want to write about Sunday's fiascos! The entire day was just bad. Seriously, we woke up late, called the hotel as we were headed toward the hospital, the hotel manager couldn't find our reservation for a good 10 minutes, he finally found it and we ran out of gas. Got gas, got groceries, headed to the hospital again to drop off the car. Left the hospital to go to Taco Bell (Yeah, add that in to the fiasco) and got in a slight accident. No one was hurt, everything is peachy. That put us behind another hour and a half. Got on the road. Finally got to the hotel at 5:30. The concert doors were open at 7. Wes called a cab right when we got to the hotel and told them we needed a ride at 6:30. They, of course, didn't get there until 7:15 so we didn't get a good spot in the audience. The concert itself was fantastic but the people in the crowd were just terrible. After ward we went back to the hotel and made a pizza. I only had a small piece but it still made my calories go over. :( For breakfast I had slimfast. Lunch was half of a taco bell quesodilla, I had some cheezits as a snack on the way to cincinatti, and then pizza for dinner. I bought a bottle of Skinny Girl Pina Colada and had a couple ounces of that. Luckily that was only 33 calories per serving. :) I ended up over my calories again which sucked but it wasn't an insane amount.
Monday
Monday I didn't exercise but I also didn't go over my calories. I only had 26 left at the end of the day, but I wasn't over them.
Today
Breakfast was Slimfast. Mom took me to lunch at Bob Evans. I had a salad with lite ranch, two grilled chicken breasts, green beans, and two rolls. It was a healthy meal aside from the rolls. I still have 360 calories remaining but I am going to try not to use them to help make up for the crazy amount I went over this weekend.
In total this weekend I went over my calories twice, it ended up being 1303 Calories over. (TOTAL not just one day!)
I have had calories left over a few times also, so I have made up for 1,050 of them with exercise and healthy choices.
So I still have to make up for another 253 Calories and I am going to do so by cutting back my calories a little bit every day and exercising more.
Notes:
I need to make sure I don't get behind on updating again because it is a pain to get caught up. Also, I have noticed that some things that you would never believe were so bad for you have a terrible amount of calories. I wanted a Mocha Hot chocolate at Bob Evans but I looked up the calories (MFP is my BEST resource) and it was 268 calories! NO THANK YOU! Every day I am learning to make healthier choices! It is great! And my husband is being wonderfully supportive. He even made me egg whites the other day without my having to ask him!
Favorite Website of the day:
www.cookinglight.com
Friday
Friday started out great. I was well within my calories for the day and I was feeling fine. I went with my friend, Lauron, to be fitted for my bridesmaid's dress for her wedding and I got to see her in her wedding dress. She looked absolutely beautiful. After the dress appointment we went to Olive Garden. I had a glass of wine because they were giving away free glasses while we waited. It was around 50 calories and it was delicious. Olive Garden was my first real will power test since I started dieting. I did better than I would have before but I am kind of disappointed in myself. I tried to have self control, I really truly did, but those bread sticks are way too yummy so I had 3....I had salad, and then chicken alfredo. I could have gotten something more healthy, but I didn't because I am kind of a picky eater. Anyway, the alfredo is over 1400 calories by itself and I only ate half of it. But I still went over my calories for the day. Then Wes wanted to stop at the truck stop after work and I chose the healthiest thing on the menu. I had chicken stir fry. It was pretty good but put me well over my calories. Brad called me and we talked for over an hour. He said that he is wanting to do a half marathon for a good cause, possibly Leukemia and Lymphoma which is REALLY dear to me since my little brother has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. So, my goal is to get through the 5K in July and then start training for a half marathon.
Saturday
I did REALLY good on Saturday with calories. I had close to 350 left over before exercise. I did 15 minutes of Zumba Exhilarate, it is a 60 minute dvd but I couldn't breathe after 12 minutes. After I stopped the dvd I grabbed Wes and got him to go out and do Day 1 of Couch to 5K with me. I only made it through 10 minutes of that one before gasping for air....Pathetic. At this rate I will never run a 5K, let alone that half marathon....
Sunday
I don't even want to write about Sunday's fiascos! The entire day was just bad. Seriously, we woke up late, called the hotel as we were headed toward the hospital, the hotel manager couldn't find our reservation for a good 10 minutes, he finally found it and we ran out of gas. Got gas, got groceries, headed to the hospital again to drop off the car. Left the hospital to go to Taco Bell (Yeah, add that in to the fiasco) and got in a slight accident. No one was hurt, everything is peachy. That put us behind another hour and a half. Got on the road. Finally got to the hotel at 5:30. The concert doors were open at 7. Wes called a cab right when we got to the hotel and told them we needed a ride at 6:30. They, of course, didn't get there until 7:15 so we didn't get a good spot in the audience. The concert itself was fantastic but the people in the crowd were just terrible. After ward we went back to the hotel and made a pizza. I only had a small piece but it still made my calories go over. :( For breakfast I had slimfast. Lunch was half of a taco bell quesodilla, I had some cheezits as a snack on the way to cincinatti, and then pizza for dinner. I bought a bottle of Skinny Girl Pina Colada and had a couple ounces of that. Luckily that was only 33 calories per serving. :) I ended up over my calories again which sucked but it wasn't an insane amount.
Monday
Monday I didn't exercise but I also didn't go over my calories. I only had 26 left at the end of the day, but I wasn't over them.
Today
Breakfast was Slimfast. Mom took me to lunch at Bob Evans. I had a salad with lite ranch, two grilled chicken breasts, green beans, and two rolls. It was a healthy meal aside from the rolls. I still have 360 calories remaining but I am going to try not to use them to help make up for the crazy amount I went over this weekend.
In total this weekend I went over my calories twice, it ended up being 1303 Calories over. (TOTAL not just one day!)
I have had calories left over a few times also, so I have made up for 1,050 of them with exercise and healthy choices.
So I still have to make up for another 253 Calories and I am going to do so by cutting back my calories a little bit every day and exercising more.
Notes:
I need to make sure I don't get behind on updating again because it is a pain to get caught up. Also, I have noticed that some things that you would never believe were so bad for you have a terrible amount of calories. I wanted a Mocha Hot chocolate at Bob Evans but I looked up the calories (MFP is my BEST resource) and it was 268 calories! NO THANK YOU! Every day I am learning to make healthier choices! It is great! And my husband is being wonderfully supportive. He even made me egg whites the other day without my having to ask him!
Favorite Website of the day:
www.cookinglight.com
Friday, March 22, 2013
Progress
I know I said I wasn't going to step on the scale again until Sunday but I remembered that I'll be out of town Sunday and I messed up last night, so I needed some encouragement. Down another 4.7 lbs today making over 9 lbs for this week's total :) I can't tell you how happy that makes me. Today's weight was 267.1. Still a lot but I'm very happy with my progress.
This is about me being honest and accountable so i am going to admit Last night's mess up. My husband works 2nd shift, so after work he likes to eat something. Last night I had to pick him up from work since we both have broken down vehicles. He was hungry and wanted McDonald's since we live out in the boonies and nothing else was open. In a moment of weakness, and starvation since I had been awake for 24 hours with not much food, I ordered a chicken sandwich and I ate 5 of Wesley's French fries. It isn't the end of the world, because I had plenty of calories left over for the day, but it did blow my goal of not eating after 7 pm.
Today I am wearing my favorite pair of holy jeans. Two weekends ago I wore them and had to have them unbuttoned and folded down, they were still tight like that. Today, they are buttoned and LOOSE! :) I'm so happy about that!
I'm going to try, once again to post a video diary...don't hold your breath! Lol
Thanks for reading!
If you want more yummy recipes check out www.skinnytaste.com !
This is about me being honest and accountable so i am going to admit Last night's mess up. My husband works 2nd shift, so after work he likes to eat something. Last night I had to pick him up from work since we both have broken down vehicles. He was hungry and wanted McDonald's since we live out in the boonies and nothing else was open. In a moment of weakness, and starvation since I had been awake for 24 hours with not much food, I ordered a chicken sandwich and I ate 5 of Wesley's French fries. It isn't the end of the world, because I had plenty of calories left over for the day, but it did blow my goal of not eating after 7 pm.
Today I am wearing my favorite pair of holy jeans. Two weekends ago I wore them and had to have them unbuttoned and folded down, they were still tight like that. Today, they are buttoned and LOOSE! :) I'm so happy about that!
I'm going to try, once again to post a video diary...don't hold your breath! Lol
Thanks for reading!
If you want more yummy recipes check out www.skinnytaste.com !
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Motivation
The strangest thing happened today. I got home from the hospital, where I was visiting my Popa, and I decided to do one of my Zumba workouts. I put in my Rush dvd and started. I made it all the way through the entire 20 minute workout without stopping! It wasn't pretty and I certainly don't have Latin rhythm, but I am SO proud of myself! :) I have never made it through one of the Zumba workouts without stopping. I know it was only 20 minutes, but you have to start somewhere!
I haven't been sleeping. I had my baby on February 7th and since then I've gotten a couple hours a night, at the most. I just cannot fall asleep and once I do, I wake up from nightmares. Right now, I think my energy is coming from my herbalife supplements and my green tea capsules.
So far today I have had 6 glasses of water :) That is 48 oz! I plan to have a few more before I go to bed tonight. I still have 400 calories left for the day (If you aren't using My Fitness Pal you should! It is great! & You can add me, JackilynC is my username). I need to eat dinner in about an hour because I am implementing my "no food after 7pm rule tonight."
Since my workout was only 20 minutes and my goal is 30 minutes a day, I guess I should motivate myself to hook the doggies up and go for a walk. Tomorrow is a Couch to 5K day. I might have veered from my schedule in the last blog but my brain hasn't been fully functioning lately and really what matters is that I alternate days sooo, the original plan doesn't necessarily have to be concrete.
I LOVE workout endorphin's, they make me feel fantastic! I recorded two video blogs today and neither will upload. Something tells me that I am going to have to make a youtube account for this blog and upload there. That scares me because I don't want to see a bunch of negative comments, but I guess I need to suck it up.
Last night I found so many great websites with fantastic healthy recipes, so I decided to link one per day to the blog. Also, I have a facebook page for Vegan, Non-GMO and Raw foods if you are interested in some awesome links that I find. :)
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Veg-With-Me/623177737708041
Website of the Day: www.ohsheglows.com
I will be weighing in on Sundays from now on. I am hoping that I can figure out how to get video blogs to post before this sunday!
As promised, here are those pesky measurements.
Neck- 17.5"
Chest- 51"
Bra Band- 44.5"
R Bicep- 14"
L Bicep- 13" (How does that even happen? LOL)
Waist- 49"
Hips- 47"
R Thigh- 28"
L Thigh- 28"
R Calf- 17.5"
L Calf-17"
As you can see, these are not ideal. I'm working on it, so go easy on me :)
Also, I am a day ahead of schedule! I finished my meal plan for the week and my grocery list today! Wooh!
I haven't been sleeping. I had my baby on February 7th and since then I've gotten a couple hours a night, at the most. I just cannot fall asleep and once I do, I wake up from nightmares. Right now, I think my energy is coming from my herbalife supplements and my green tea capsules.
So far today I have had 6 glasses of water :) That is 48 oz! I plan to have a few more before I go to bed tonight. I still have 400 calories left for the day (If you aren't using My Fitness Pal you should! It is great! & You can add me, JackilynC is my username). I need to eat dinner in about an hour because I am implementing my "no food after 7pm rule tonight."
Since my workout was only 20 minutes and my goal is 30 minutes a day, I guess I should motivate myself to hook the doggies up and go for a walk. Tomorrow is a Couch to 5K day. I might have veered from my schedule in the last blog but my brain hasn't been fully functioning lately and really what matters is that I alternate days sooo, the original plan doesn't necessarily have to be concrete.
I LOVE workout endorphin's, they make me feel fantastic! I recorded two video blogs today and neither will upload. Something tells me that I am going to have to make a youtube account for this blog and upload there. That scares me because I don't want to see a bunch of negative comments, but I guess I need to suck it up.
Last night I found so many great websites with fantastic healthy recipes, so I decided to link one per day to the blog. Also, I have a facebook page for Vegan, Non-GMO and Raw foods if you are interested in some awesome links that I find. :)
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Veg-With-Me/623177737708041
Website of the Day: www.ohsheglows.com
I will be weighing in on Sundays from now on. I am hoping that I can figure out how to get video blogs to post before this sunday!
As promised, here are those pesky measurements.
Neck- 17.5"
Chest- 51"
Bra Band- 44.5"
R Bicep- 14"
L Bicep- 13" (How does that even happen? LOL)
Waist- 49"
Hips- 47"
R Thigh- 28"
L Thigh- 28"
R Calf- 17.5"
L Calf-17"
As you can see, these are not ideal. I'm working on it, so go easy on me :)
Also, I am a day ahead of schedule! I finished my meal plan for the week and my grocery list today! Wooh!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Introduction and Goals
My name is Jackilyn, I am 23 years old and this is my weight loss journey. I decided to start a blog to help hold myself accountable. Starting tomorrow, once a week I will post a video blog, but everyday there will be an update on my progress. Some days this will read like a journal, other days it will read like a report. This is something that is very hard for me because I am extremely self conscious, so please bear with me and try to keep your comments constructive but not mean.I would appreciate that. I will try to do my video blogs without makeup or hair done so that you can really see my progress. I am going to start by posting my goals and some starting information.
My Plan
Currently
BMI-41.4
Waist to Height Ratio-.62
Weight-271.8 lbs (Goodness it gave me a panic attack to admit that in print)
Goals
- Plan weekly meals on Fridays.
- Grocery shop on Saturdays
- Keep a daily video diary
- Lose 5 lbs per week
- BMI of 20
- Waist to Height Ratio of .5
- Lose 54% of current weight (57% of starting weight)
- Weight of 125 lbs by 11.30.13
- 30 minutes of exercise 6 days a week
- Finish Couch to 5K in time for 5K 7.14.13
My Plan
1400 Calories a day + 30 minutes of exercise (Zumba Monday/Wednesday/Friday & Couch to 5K Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday)
Prenatal Vitamins and Herbalife supplements
Drinking 1 gallon of water per day
Schedule
8:00 am- Morning vitamins and supplements
8:30 am- Meal replacement shake and fruit
8:45 am-Go for a walk with Wes and Dogs
10:00 am-Couch to 5K or Zumba (30 minutes)
11:30 am-Shake and fruit + Lunch supplements
1:30 pm- Snack
4:00 pm- Snack
6:00 pm- Dinner (600 calorie and below)
Meal Breakdown
Breakfast- 250 Calories
Lunch-250 Calories
Snacks-250 Calories (Total)
Dinner-650 Calories
Progress so far
On February 16th, a week after my miscarriage, I weighed 294 lbs (Admitting that is NOT something that came easily for me). On Saturday, March 16th I weighed 276.5 lbs. Yesterday, March 19th I weighed 271.8 :) This is with minimal exercise and I just began my "diet" on Saturday,so I am hoping that once I increase my exercise I will see even better results than I already have!
I'll have to update my inches tomorrow because I am at the hospital with my grandparents and no measuring tape. :)
This is it for update number one!
http://cookinwithevilone.blogspot.com/
(A link to a blog that my friend runs with some healthy, tasty recipes that I plan to use in my own journey. If you like them, leave her some great comments. She has lost 47 lbs and looks amazing).
http://cookinwithevilone.blogspot.com/
(A link to a blog that my friend runs with some healthy, tasty recipes that I plan to use in my own journey. If you like them, leave her some great comments. She has lost 47 lbs and looks amazing).
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