Once again I manage to run out of time to make an update. I really need to work on that. My life is seriously a mess right now and this weight loss goal is the only thing keeping me sane. It's the only thing I have to focus on that keeps my mind off of everything else. I can't stop thinking about Carter. He is truly my inspiration but every day my heart breaks over and over again. I HAVE to better my life because I have to be the mom that my son deserves. Every time I update this blog I feel like I am going to lose my mind. I am terrified of what people will think. I am terrified of seeing my flaws so vividly in print. I am terrified that someone will actually read this and see how insecure I really am. For so long I have been pretending and I am so scared to take off this mask. The truth is, I am a mess. I am a mess who tries really hard to pretend that I am confident and sure of myself, but I'm not. I am really just sick of pretending. This is who I really am. I am a twenty-three year old woman who hates her body. I am "the fat cheerleader." I am all the mean names people call an overweight person. I am a size 20 who would give anything to fit into a size 8. More than any of that, I am a girl who is determined to change all of those things.
In total, since I started tracking calories with MFP, I have gone over by 1,542 calories. NOT all in one day! Today I figured out that I have made up 1,537 of those with leftover calories. So, I only have 5 calories left to make up. That makes me happy. I know it doesn't make up for the days when I messed up, but it is still calories that aren't making their way into my body to be stored as fat. :)
March 28th 2013
Once again I slacked on exercise. I was 110 calories under though, so I am happy with that. Water drinking wasn't so hot today! I hate having a well because the water at our house is nasty, and I hate buying bottled water because of the impact on the environment, so water drinking is sometimes tough for me.
March 29th 2013
I may not have mentioned this before so I will mention it now. I HATE eating breakfast. I am not in the mood to cook that early in the morning. Healthy cereals are nasty, toaster strudels have INSANE amounts of calories, and I just can't stand to eat solid food before noon. So, I usually have some sort of liquid breakfast. Lately it has been slim fast more often than not just for simplicity when running back and forth to the hospital and doing other stuff. So this morning it was slim fast for breakfast. For lunch I had a grilled chicken sandwich from the hospital cafeteria (it was nasty!) I only ate half the bun and I didn't get any mayo. Just lettuce and pickles for toppings. I had sugar free pudding with it. For dinner I had a grilled chicken salad with fat-free italian dressing and half a cup of cottage cheese. I am not a big italian dressing fan but it has 80 calories less than lite ranch which gave me enough wiggle room to have a chewy granola bar! I did better on my water drinking today! A full 64 oz!
Tomorrow is the final update for this week but I measured tonight to update MFP so I figured I'd just update here too and I've lost a total of 2.5 inches in the 3 areas that are measured there. I will try to do the rest of my measurements tomorrow but here are the main 3.
-0.5 from neck
-1.0 from waist
-1.0 from hips
______________
2.5 inches down!
No comments:
Post a Comment